I’m happy today because I went for a walk with my mum and it was beautiful. We saw lots of bumblebees and butterflies and it was just amazing.

I love spending time with my mum because she appreciates the little things that I do, and she’s also as loony as I am. It made me really happy.

Today I’m thankful for the time I spent with my mum.

I’m thankful for such a beautiful day and I’m thankful for Ri’s nan who is just do lovely to me.


I don’t know why we say ‘don’t let this define you’ to people who experience trauma, except, I wonder if it is to shut us up.

What happened to me defines me. Some of those things were horrible things that make me crazy and make me sad. Other things were these wonderful things that make me smile. I don’t see why I have to put on a brave face just so you don’t have to think about the horrible things. 

"For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse.

So collapse.
This is not your destruction.

This is your birth."
n.t. (via albinwonderland)

And this is why we are called what we are called

My Daily Gratitude

I’ve been doing my gratitude list for many months now. (can’t be bothered to work out how many) I’m actually quite proud because it forces you to find a positive even on a really bad day. There have been days where the only thing I could think of is air but the fact I had to think and find something has been positive. I’ve found now, that I actually notice things throughout the day and think, oh that could be added to my list. Sure, it doesnt always make it to the list because my memory isn’t brilliant, but the fact that I am noticing things has definitely helped me have a more positive outlook, even on low days.

I really do recommend it. I think it’s been one of those tiny, barely noticeable tools that has actually done me a world of good.

I try not to bring too much attention to my successes as I’ve got a rather massive fear of failure and being embarrassed when things don’t quite stay positive. That said, one thing I’ve been learning in my recovery, is that it’s important to recognise the positives.

That’s what I’m currently working on. I think I owe it to myself to recognise and appreciate when I do something well, or when I am doing particularly well.

I feel like I’m doing pretty well at the moment. I know that the majority of that isn’t down to me, but even so, I’m pleased and proud of myself. I’ve been working really hard at recovery and maintaining stability, and I realised today that this is the longest in years that I’ve been stable, and it feels pretty good.


yeah feeling physically ill from stress is weird like im so mentally and emotionally tired, my body is just goes “nope, im not gonna let you deal with this any more, nope you’re grounded”

Today I’m thankful that I was able to see the sunrise and sunset. They were both beautiful.

I’m thankful that I was able to get so much done today.

I’m thankful that I was able to go to the gym and I’m thankful for Noxian and her kickass advice on my upcoming scrapbook journal project.

It’s been a busy day today. Riley is unwell and so I’ve been alone most of the day. It was fine though.

I woke up at 5:50am because I wanted to try and catch the Lunar Eclipse. As it happened I wasn’t able to see it, which was disappointing but there you go. I went for a walk at 6am with the dogs which was hilarious because the dogs don’t usually wake up until around 11am so they were really confused and muddled and they kept walking into things, and each other.

I came back home and was awake for a while until I had a nap at around 9am. When I woke up I took the dogs out again and then we went to the shop to get a few things for dinner. When I came home I prepared and ate my lunch. I just lounged around after that for a few hours and then I took Frankee for a walk on her own (to help her build confidence and not rely on the other 2), then after that I took Marley and Ruby to the park which was lovely. I just sat on the grass in the sun while they played and I got licked right in the mouth by a random greyhound who was adorable and incredibly bouncy.

I then went to the gym after that. I only did a 30 minute cardio session, but that’s irrelevant - the fact I went is what I’m proud of. It was a little scary at first going in alone when the gym was heaving, but I just put my headphones on and got to work, and I soon forgot just how terrifying it was.

I’m now relaxing, having not long eaten dinner and had a bath. I’m reading Allegiant but I must admit, I’m exhausted. I love days like today when I do a lot, but I do end up really paying for it in some way. Right now, that way is utter exhaustion. Still, it’s better than pain.

Also, I decided to spoil myself and I bought myself a new Keri Smith book. (I think I ordered Mess). There was a seller on amazon who had one listed for £0.69 instead of £6.99 so I snapped it up! I’m very excited now!!

Today I’m happy because I was awake to see both sunrise and sunset.

I’m also happy because I spent a lot of time with my pups playing in the park and stuff.

It was nice. Today’s been a really nice day.